Will and I (that’s right, Kyle’s doing the writing now) are working in a summer hire program for most of vacation. The thing about being a summer hire is there really isn’t much for you to do. There aren’t a lot of jobs that summer hires are allowed, so most of the day is spent sitting at our computers waiting to be assigned a task. While it may at first not sound so bad, I mean getting paid to sit at a computer and do nothing sounds pretty easy right? Well, after eight hours of it a day you start to go a little….crazy.

So we decided to introduce a new segment to try to keep our spirits up, or at least our sanity intact. It’s called “The Descent” and documents our fall into madness through daily logs of our activities. We hope you enjoy reading through our suffering!

Kyle has been through a week and a half of work. I’ve been through a little over a month. It’s starting to have an effect on us. The Descents are getting stranger and stranger. Soon they will all just be naked pictures of Kyle. I’m tellin ya man. Naked. Pictures. Of Kyle.

So before things get that bad, get your read on with The Descent Part VI! Today is hump day (not nearly as exciting as it sounds) and the strain Kyle and Will feel is painfully obvious. In their least exciting, most disappointing Descent yet, they go through…well…really not a whole heck of a lot happens. Hopefully tomorrow will be a more exciting day.

Will & Kyle’s Work Log Part VI

8:13-YOU IN FO’ A BUMPY RIDE

8:13-Sebastian the Crab singing all up in my brainer

8:13-sha la la la la la

8:14-no wait it’s still 8:13 fml

8:14-we’re off to a great start

8:14-GEORGE

8:14-GEORGE

8:14-GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE

8:14-WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE

8:15-Will says something. KYLE OVERREACTS

8:26-The Merovingians (also Merovings) were a Salian Frankish dynasty that came to rule the Franks in a region (known as Francia in Latin) largely corresponding to ancient Gaul from the middle of the fifth century. Their politics involved frequent civil warfare among branches of the family. During the final century of the Merovingian rule, the dynasty was increasingly pushed into a ceremonial role. The Merovingian rule was ended March 752 when Pope Zachary formally deposed Childeric III.  Zachary’s successor, Pope Stephen II, re-confirmed and crowned Pepin the Short in Childeric’s place in 754 beginning the Carolingian monarchy and early introduction of the Holy Roman Empire.

8:27-ANOTHER LETTER FROM AN OCUPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT

8:27-guys remember when this was a work log

8:27-Will bites into an apple. The apple takes 30 points of damage. The apple died!

8:27-Will gained 100 experience points. Will leveled up! Will is now level 190.

8:27-Will is evolving!!

8:28-Will evolved into Brian!

8:28-Brian wants to learn Vegetable Consumption, but he already knows four moves (Respiration, Washing Hands, Fruit Consumption, Quick Attack). Forget a move?

8:28-Brian forgot Respiration. Brian learned Vegetable Consumption!

8:28-Brian fainted.

8:45-I’m all burned out on crazy.

9:09-Will is doing work, but Kyle can’t because of shenanigans on the part of his superiors. ALL I AM IS DUST IN THE WIIIIIIIIIIIND

9:11-Let’s see how many times I can listen to Mass Romantic by The New Pornographers all the way through before the day ends

9:22-w-what happened to the past 11 minutes

9:22-Both Kyle and Maleficent are experiencing something of a writer’s block.

9:41-Still haven’t really done anything.

9:51-it’s only been 10 minutes noooooooooooooooooo

10:21-watchin’ scary videos on the youtubes. They are scary!

10:46-terrified right now

11:30-spoiler alert: EVERYONE DIES

11:30-Will is going to lunch. Kyle is going to snack on Nutty Bars by himself! Emotion.

11:31-DRAMATIC CELLPHONE RING TONE

11:31-RING TONE REPEATS

11:31-CELLPHONE IS ANSWERED

11:31-DRAMATICALLY

11:31-WITH A FLOURISH

11:31-WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITE WHALE

11:31-Will doesn’t know where his underwear is

11:32-oh it’s under there

11:32-under wher-ohhhhhh you

11:32-HOW YOU WANNA DIG MY STYLE I AM

SO SUPERIOR

SCREW TIMES WE DON’T NEED TIMES

TIMELESS

11:35-SNOTELEKS

11:35-kind of thirsty

11:35-please help me

12:55-Rearrange “Eskimos” to get “o kiss me.” My world has been flipped upside down

1:22-Will still isn’t back from lunch.

1:22-He went out to eat. Probably should have specified

1:23-THOUGH IT WASN’T HARD TO FIGURE OUT GAWD

1:23-WHAT AN EXCEPTIONALLY SLOW DAY YOU HAVE, GRANDMA

1:23-ALL THE BETTER TO CONSUME YOUR MEAGER SCRAPS OF OPTIMISM, DEAR

1:30-HOLY CRAP WATCHING HULU

1:35-While Kyle is entranced by Glee on Hulu, Will steals work log.

1:35-It’s good to be back.

1:54-Will ate one too many Nutty Bars. His left arm is all tingly and the lights are dimming. Weird.

2:15-Nicolas Cage in a bear suit came into the office and punched Kyle square in the face.

2:16-Nicolas Cage in a bear suit has now taken Kyle’s place at his desk. He shares food with Will. A friendship is born.

2:23- Will does some work on his computer. It’s pretty boring. Kyle wakes up, sees Nicolas Cage in a bear suit and leaves the office.

2:29-Kyle returns with Arnold Schwarzenegger. He fights Nicolas Cage in a bear suit. The carnage is colossal.

2:44-Will is so bored and so not in the mood to write this stupid work log. Kyle is watching Hulu like a cheater. Freaking cheater. I should kill him. Nobody would know, I could just stab him in the throat with an icicle. The murder weapon will melt away, along with my finger tips. I’d have Nicolas Cage dump his body in a wood chipper, that guy owes me a favor. I’d claim I was at my office all day and Kyle went for a stroll but never came back. Bam, air tight alibi. Kyle’s gone, I’m free as a bird. It’s the perfect crime.

2:45-Turns out Kyle read all of that over my shoulder. I may have to act sooner than planned.

2:46-damn it he read that too.

2:59-Kyle stands up, screams, and then performs Hari kari. Everyone in the office keeps working like normal.

3:19-Kyle and Will go out into the hall and play hop scotch.

3:19-Kyle didn’t die btw, turns out he sold his soul to Mephisto for a magical hellfire motorcycle or something. I wasn’t really listening.

4:00-Will goes home. Nothing happened in the past hour so just forget about it ok?

4:15-Kyle catches tuberculosis.

5:00 he goes home or something I don’t really care adsoifhapsoeian;sletkjas;eltkmas

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