Welcome my friends! Oh how it has been so long! Don’t be afraid come in, come in. I made some tea; I do hope you will join me. Oh that old thing? Yes hubby does make a great mantle piece if I do say so myself. I hope you don’t mind the ants, they tell me stories. MALLARD MONDAY! DUDE! I know tell me about it isn’t it awesome? It’s been forever hasn’t it? Ages and ages, I feel our love has grown cold throughout the many years apart. A week you say? Bastard child, you always win. I think I can win next time. It has been a week and like any other Monday, we here at The Shpitz bring you mallard Monday, where a lucky duck gets chosen to rep his home boyz. We apologize for last week’s mishap; it would seem the board finally realized a goose is not a fucking duck. No matter how hard they squint their god forsaken inbred eyes. I’m sorry papa. Anyway, we give you this week’s luck duck, and winner of our weekly mallard Monday website! Mac Quack!

Today we salute you Mac Quack!
Life may be bringing you down but at least you have fun crying alone
you may not know how to keep the 80’s alive, but you sure know how to direct traffic flow.
That’s right, you use your little webbed feet to be a maniac, and you’re dancing like you’ve never danced before.
Sure mom may be a whore, but at least your uncle Bo has gotten a little softer with his touching.
Life may be hard but when life gives you lemons Mac Quack, you piss on everyone’s sense of dignity, golden showers for everyone is your Monday motto.
Here’s to you Mac Quack, you make sure those business men get happy endings.